Missing Pieces
by InuYume88
Summary: Ezria. How I would have written season 7. Unlike the series, Aria isn't a saint and she's pissed with Ezra for not calling after finding out Nicole is alive. Not sure how long this will be. Hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

I think it's safe to say that we were all disappointed with how Aria dealt with Ezra's douchy behavior in season 7. I'm all for team Ezria, but it really pissed me off to see how cool she was with the whole Nicole thing, not to mention how she handled the whole love story book thing. I mean, I get it, she's mature enough to have handled it like she did, but COME. ON. I'm not saying she should have thrown a hissy fit, but just staring blankly at him and smooth talking all the way through it was pretty Jesus-like, aka, not human.

Anyways, this story is a whole do-over of season 7 (where Ezria is regarded) and I'm going to ignore everything else that happened. Of course there will be the occasional appearance of the other main characters and perhaps a couple of other characters, but the focus is Aria and Douche Ezra (I love him, btw).

Hope you like it, this is my first Ezria fic (I've only written two other stories, for another fandom) and my sole purpose is to entertain and satisfy me and if someone else feels that way with it too, yay!

One more thing: English is not my first language, so please bear with any mistakes/badly written sentences.

CHAPTER 1

"I know you don't agree with my decision, but I did what I had to do. What was I supposed to have done? Tell him 'Hey, I hope she's alive and well. Now, let's go catch that plane and get married'? I wouldn't have been able to sleep at night if I had that nagging feeling in my head, telling me whether I forced him to do something he wasn't ready for. I wouldn't have been able to marry him without knowing, for sure, that I'm that one that he wants to be with, that I'm not some consolation prize. I already kinda felt that way before this whole thing started anyway!"

Aria put her head in her hands, resting her elbows on her knees. She didn't want to cry, she wanted to scream and kick something, anything to help her release the anguish she was feeling for the last few days. Spencer sighed and touched her friend's shoulder.

"Aria, I can't imagine what you are going through right now. I don't know what I would have done, but I'm sure I wouldn't be as strong as you were, handing him that ticket and telling him to go to Colombia. I'm sorry about this whole mess you're in, but, unfortunately, there's nothing you can do right now, just wait. So how about we make the waiting a little more bearable and go do some shopping?" Aria looked up at her friend and smiled. A little retail therapy didn't seem so bad right at that moment.

A few hours later

Aria stayed in the same spot for a couple of minutes, staring at the TV, mind blank. She couldn't process what she was thinking and feeling. Everything started to sink in a while after and, with a mask-like face, she took off her engagement ring, put it on the kitchen counter, climbed up the stairs to the bedroom and packed her suitcase. By the time she walked out of Ezra's apartment, she hadn't shed a single tear.

##########

Aria didn't want to stay in Rosewood. If she could, she would have disappeared from the face of the Earth. Mars sounded good enough. Unfortunately, she had to find a way to escape the humiliation, the scrutiny and the anger she felt by staying in her hometown and facing the people and the places she was familiar with, all staring at her and pitying her. "There goes the messed up girl, the former dead girl's friend. The girl that got arrested for murder. The girl who got kidnapped." The girl whose fiancé left for Colombia and got reunited with the love of his life. Without even giving her a warning or an explanation.

Her rational mind told her that people probably didn't exactly think that of her and that most wouldn't care that much about the recent events anyway. Of course everyone knew about the owner of The Brew who had lost his girlfriend in Colombia and then got engaged to Aria. But no one knew that he hadn't even had the decency to call her or let her know that he hadn't caught the flight home that he had told her he would. But Aria knew. And she couldn't live with it, not right at that moment. Not in Rosewood.

Her friends had called, asked questions, told her to have patience and wait for him. For his explanation. She decided to stay at Spencer's, who had offered her shelter as soon as she got a text from Aria saying she had been driving around for a few hours and needed a place to crash. Aria spent those days in a vegetative-like state, waiting for a sign from Ezra, anything. Nothing came. She became even angrier, more confused, trying to come up with some excuse. Spencer was worried, she hadn't seen Aria cried, she didn't talk much about Ezra and she didn't say what she wanted to do about it. Finally, Aria made up her mind and that's when she called Hanna, Emily and Alison, who went over to Spencer's.

"Of course there's an acceptable explanation! It's Ezra, he's crazy about you, he's probably just too caught up in all the hoopla", Hanna said. But for Aria, it just hurt too much. She was his fiancée. She deserved to have received a call, a text, anything. It had been two days since she saw him and Nicole on TV, embracing, happy to have found each other again, careless about the other people in Ezra's lives. Mainly, Aria.

She was tired of dealing with her friends' attempts to comfort her. In the end, whatever the reason or the excuse, the fact was that Ezra was supposed to have come home two days ago and he didn't. And he didn't call her. And he didn't think she was worthy of his time to do so. And nothing could have changed this fact. It had been two days. She had had enough.

##########

The next day, Aria decided to head to New York. She became good friends with her roommate from college, Helena, and had been offered to visit her in New York several times. But she had never taken her up on that offer, always too busy with her job in Boston and her relationship with Liam. Nonetheless, they had always kept in touch, with Aria always reaching out to Helena to compliment her on her job as a freelance reporter for The New York Times.

She called Helena and, within the hour, she drove to New York. Aria briefly told her friend about the incident with Ezra, saying that they had a fight and that she needed some time away from Rosewood. The brown-eyed blonde welcomed Aria with open arms, freshly cleaned sheets and a sofa for her to crash on.

"Hey, so how was the drive?" Helena asked while sitting on the sofa beside Aria, handing her a cup of tea.

"It was ok, not too much traffic", Aria said with a small smile, accepting the drink.

"That's good", Helena said awkwardly. Aria was visibly upset and didn't seem to want to have a deep conversation at the moment. "So, it's kinda late and I can see you're tired. So maybe we can go to sleep and then talk in the morning? It's Saturday, we can pretend we are genuine New Yorkers and get brunch and then walk through Central Park. How does that sound?"

Aria gave her friend a genuine smile. Helena always knew the right thing to say, making her feel better at rough times, being truthful but also not prodding too much.

"That sounds awesome", Aria said with a loud sigh. "I'll tell you everything tomorrow. Thanks again, I really appreciate you doing this for me, especially on such a short notice".

"No problem, hun. You know how much I care about you. Sleep well, see you tomorrow". Helena turned off the lights and went to her room, leaving Aria laying on the couch, wondering what she would do from now on.

"Morning! You ready to have that brunch?" Helena said, walking into the living room, fully dressed for the day.

"Good morning. Yeah, let me just take a shower, it won't be long".

"Sure, take your time".

Helena was drinking a glass of water while browsing through her phone. She was finishing drinking it when she heard Aria's phone ring. She walked over to the sofa and saw the caller's ID, as well as his picture. Ezra. She knew things were bad between Aria and him, she just didn't know how bad, so she decided to not answer it. _Aria can just call him back when she's finished with the shower, if that's what she wants_ , she thought.

Aria got out of the bathroom and told Helena she was ready to go. While she was grabbing her purse Helena told her about the call.

"I didn't pick it up, I wasn't sure what to do…", the blonde said.

"That's okay, that's exactly what I would have done", Aria said. Aria was expecting that moment since she saw Ezra and Nicole on TV. She knew he would, eventually, grace her with an excuse, but she also knew she wasn't anywhere near ready to talk to him, so she was glad Helena hadn't pick up the call. She didn't want him to know where and how she was either. She just wanted him to feel like she felt, without knowing where and how she was, even though he hadn't seen her hugging a former boyfriend on TV.

"Oh, okay. Uh, should we go then?" Helena said.

"Yeah, let's go".

The walk to the diner was short, but the two friends didn't talk much. Helena pointed out some useful spots for Aria, in case she stayed with her for a bit longer than a few days, but that was it. They made their way to their table and, after reading the menu and ordering their food, Aria decided it was time to clear everything up with her friend.

"So, I'm sorry for not telling you about this earlier, but the last three days were a complete hell for me and I'm just starting to process everything."

"It's okay, I understand. Just take your time and start from the beginning", Helena said before thanking the waitress and sipping her coffee.

Aria let out a sigh and took an audible gulp of her own coffee.

"Well, you know Ezra and I got engaged a couple of weeks ago. And you also know we've been co-writing a book about his relationship with his girlfriend, who supposedly died in Colombia after being kidnapped".

Helena nodded. "Yeah, and I saw her on TV too, she was found… that's crazy. I saw her hugging a guy and I recognized Ezra…"

Aria nodded and explained. "Yes, that was him. The FBI came over to his place a few days ago and told him that they might have found her. He was surprised, as was I. I knew he had to go to Colombia and be there until they found out what was going on, so I cashed in our plane tickets, that we had bought to go to Italy, to elope, and bought him a ticket to Colombia".

Helena's mouth dropped open. "You're kidding me".

"I am not".

"Aria, you're a saint. And elope?! I thought you were planning the wedding!"

"We were, but Ezra came up with this idea of getting married in Tuscany, just the two of us, and I agreed" Aria said, shrugging.

"Wow. Okay, so he went there…"

"Yes, he got there and they told him Nicole wasn't one of the survivors they found. He was obviously disappointed and sad, but told me he was coming home in a few hours". Aria continued telling Helena the whole story about how she waited at his place, with a home cooked meal, and how, when he didn't get there on time, she desperately tried to find out what happened, since his phone was off, only to finally get an answer by seeing him and Nicole on TV. She then told Helena about how he was MIA for three days, no calls, no messages, nothing.

Helena was now visibly angry. "You're telling me your fiancé, the guy you dated in high school, your high school TEACHER, someone who's put you through so much misery and has been through so much with you, took the tickets you were going to use to GET MARRIED, went to another country to look for his ex girlfriend, made you cook, WAIT for him at home like a good fiancée and housewife, and then didn't get on the fucking plane, didn't TELL you he didn't get on said fucking plane, didn't contact you in anyway and then SHOWED UP IN THE FUCKING TV HUGGING HIS EX GIRLFRIEND?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

Aria looked around the diner and turned to her friend. "Yes. Now chill. People are staring", she said whispering.

"Aria, just tell me HOW you're handling this? I mean, I'm sure he has an explanation and all, but what the fuck?! And today was the first time he's tried to contact you since this whole shitty thing?"

"First, I'm not handling it very well. As you know, I RAN away. And second, yes, that was the first time he tried to reach me".

"Oh my God, you know, even with all the bad things you told me about him and the fact that you dated him while he was your teacher, I always liked him and always rooted for you two, even though I never met him. But now? I'm stunned. Truly stunned".

Aria stared at her cup. "I know. He did some shitty stuff to me in the past, but this tops it all. I still can't believe he did that to me. After all I did to help him with the book, to get him out of the funk he was in when I saw him after years… I thought I deserved a little more. And I know I have to face him eventually and sort it all out, but I'm just not ready and I don't know when I will be. What I know is that I'm a mess and I don't think I can get over this. I mean, we just got engaged. We were planning a WEDDING. And that's how he treats me". Aria started crying, silently but steadily, finally letting out all she had been bottling up inside, dropping her well-known guard and telling herself she was broken. "Damn it, I managed to not cry for the last three days and when I finally do it's in public. Wow, life is really a bitch".

Helena reached out for her hand and held it. "I know it is awful. I know it's not something that you sort out in a few days. But let yourself be angry, get it all out, grieve. But after you do that, take a deep breath and talk to him. I know you don't want to hear that right now, God, not even I want to hear what I'm about to say, but maybe there is a good explanation. Something worth forgiving him for. We never know, maybe he got kidnapped by the Colombian militia and is currently being held hostage", the blonde said seriously.

Aria let out a loud laugh and wiped her tears. "I know, I know this might not be 'the end' and that he might need a fiftieth chance, but, right now, I just need some time. And I don't wanna talk to him".

"Then let's make the most of this time", Helena said, smiling.

##########

He had been pacing back and forth for God knows how many minutes. It had probably been more than 30, since that was how long it had been since he finally managed to speak with one of her friends. He jumped when he heard a knock on the door and then quickly made his made towards it.

"Hi Spencer, thank you for coming".

Spencer walked past through him without saying a word and without acknowledging him. She knew she was being a bitch and she shouldn't be that much involved, but Aria was her friend and Ezra had screwed up. Big time.

"I don't have much time, so, whatever it is you have to tell me, do it quickly", she said, sitting on his couch, finally making eye contact.

Ezra let out a frustrated sigh and sat down across from Spencer, trying to find the right words to express what he so desperately needed to.

"I know I have no right to ask you or the others for anything and that I'm also not the kind of person you want to talk to, listen to, be in the same room as. I know all of that, but I NEED to speak to Aria. She doesn't answer my calls, doesn't see, much less answer my texts or emails, I don't even know where the hell she is and I know I don't deserve any sympathy or understanding, but you and I both know this can't end without at least an explanation. Please, Spencer, please tell me where she is". Ezra finished with pleading misty eyes, trying his best to conceal them from Spencer's predatory look, not wanting to make a bigger fool of himself that he already had done in the past week.

"I don't know", she simply answered.

"Please, you know I have to talk to her, regardless of…"

"No, I DON'T KNOW where she is. No one does", Spencer said.

"Wh-what do you mean no one knows where she is?"

"She left, she told us she needed to get away from here, you know, after you screwed her up, and said that she would be safe and didn't want us to know where she was exactly, because she knew one of us would eventually break and end up telling you. She doesn't want to speak to you and she doesn't know when she will want that, if she ever does".

Ezra's eyes bulged out of his eye sockets and he blabbered before finally saying something.

"You, you mean you aren't in touch with her? How do you know she's safe?! How can you let her go away without making sure she's safe and that she'll remain that way?! This new 'A' is still out there and God knows what he's up to, she can't do that!" He was now angry at Spencer and the other girls, but he was angrier at himself, more so than before he found out about Aria's escape. It was his fault. She was gone and no one knew if she was okay and it was all his fault. He did this to her.

"I didn't say we are not in touch with her. She texts us sometimes, she called once. She doesn't seem to be in trouble. Besides, there's not much we can do right now, is there? She's a grown woman, she's capable of making her own choices, just like you were when you decided to leave her without even a word".

Ezra groaned. "Spencer, you have every right to think that way and to be angry at me and so does Aria. But I do have an explanation, I just think it's best to tell it to Aria first, this is between me and her".

"I agree, so why did you ask me to come here?" Spencer said sarcastically. Ezra didn't say a word, just stared at the ground, mentally cursing himself. Spencer got up and walked out the door, leaving the runaway groom with his self-deprecating thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I'm so happy to have received some reviews and favorites/follows! Thank you all so much. It truly means a lot to me. Even if I'm writing this for myself, receiving praise from strangers is always nice. Who doesn't like validation, huh? I'd like to thank the two anonymous reviewers too (Guest and Surprised Owl), since I couldn't do it directly. Anyway, here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 2

Helena knew something had changed. She didn't know how Aria had reacted when it happened and she didn't know how she had behaved during the days before she came to New York, but she definitely seemed different after she told her friend about Ezra.

On Sunday, Helena asked Aria to go take a walk in Central Park, visit a museum, do anything to keep her mind and body distracted from what was surely cooking inside her head. Helena knew that, during times like these, idleness was a person's worst enemy. So she was set on occupying Aria's time and thoughts with anything else other than her current relationship drama.

Aria had refused. She had told Helena she was tired, that she needed to sleep and that she would be up for all of those activities the next day. Helena wasn't entirely convinced, but decided to respect her friend's wishes.

So it was now Monday and Aria's friend had just walked out the door to go to work. She had long hours and would probably be home very late. Helena had taken up a temporary job at a magazine that required her presence everyday and Aria was thrilled to have that time to herself, even if she knew it probably wasn't the best thing for her well being right now.

So after Helena left, Aria went back to sleep. She woke up around noon, hungry, and had a small snack. After eating, a sudden tiredness came over her and she fell asleep again. She woke up around 3pm this time, amazed at how much she had slept. She decided to take a shower and read one of Helena's books. She found one that seemed interesting and started reading it. After about half an hour, she fell asleep again. The next time she woke up the sun had done down and Helena was walking through the door.

"Hey", the blonde said, dropping her bag on the kitchen counter. "Did you eat yet?"

Aria tried her best to conceal the fact she had been asleep the whole day, discretely rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "Uh, no, I haven't. How about you?"

"No, I'm starving. I'm ordering a pizza, is that okay?"

"Yeah, sure."

After calling her favorite pizza place, Helena sat on the couch and noticed the book lying on the couch beside Aria. "I love this one. It's not what you can call proper literature, but it's so catchy that I don't care."

Aria smiled. "Yeah, sometimes it's good to let go of my bookie pride and just indulge in something like that."

Helena nodded. "So, what did you do today?"

Aria averted her eyes before answering. "Nothing much, just read, basically. How was your day?"

Helena sighed. "Boring and filled with meetings." A silence ensued. "So… did Ezra try calling you again…?"

Aria shrugged. "I don't know. I turned off my phone after he called Saturday and it has stayed that way since then."

"Wow. I can't imagine going through that much time without my phone… you're my new hero. How about your friends? I bet they are worried about you."

"I know, and I feel terrible about it. I don't want them to feel like I'm shutting them out or that you're the only person I trust right now to talk to and all. But I just needed a change. I'll call them tomorrow. I'm sure they'll understand."

"Good. I think that's the right thing to do. They know you better than anyone else, I'm sure they'll be able to help."

##########

"Aria, hey! Thank God you called! We tried calling you all day yesterday, what the hell happened?"

"Calm down, Spence, I'm fine, I just turned off my phone after Ezra called Saturday, I'm sorry I didn't send you guys a text before I did. It wasn't planned."

"Oh, that's alright… we were so worried though. Are you still at your friend's place in wherever you are?"

"Yeah, I am. She's at work right now, so I'm here at her apartment alone. I'm sorry I didn't call sooner, things have been… weird." Aria really didn't know how to describe the last few days to her friend. She knew she should try harder, but everything was just a blur in her mind.

"How so?"

"You know, dealing with all of this. I went from having a fiancé to being single, to living in Rosewood and seeing my family and friends everyday to staying at a tiny apartment in a huge city filled with strangers, spending my days sleeping and feeling like a zombie." Aria didn't like how that sounded, she hated feeling sorry for herself, but she had to face it, that was how she was feeling at that moment.

"Oh Aria, I'm so sorry. I wish I could make it better somehow. Can I come see you?"

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. You don't need to make the trip just to check on me, I'll be a better friend from now on and keep you guys posted. I was stupid for not telling you earlier. I'm in New York, at Helena's place. My roommate from college, remember?"

"Oh yeah, I do. I had a feeling that's where you were going to. Look, I understand why you felt the need to get away and be with someone else right now, but I'd really like to see you. Besides, with this whole Uber A or whatever it is going on and my mom and her campaign, I can't really go back to D.C. and work and move on. So I might as well go see you and maybe try to help."

"I appreciate it, Spence… I'd really like to see you guys too, especially out of Rosewood. But just give me a few more days, okay? Helena is gone all day long, so I've been basically alone with my thoughts this whole time and I think that's what I need right now."

"Are you sure? That doesn't sound too appealing."

"I'm sure. It's just temporary; hopefully I'll be back to my normal self soon. And by that I mean I'll wear something other than sweats and look up and see the sky instead of a ceiling. Don't worry, I'll be fine."

"Well, okay then… Aria, I just think I need to tell you this, although I'm not sure it's the right moment… Ezra called me. He asked me to come over to his place and I did. He was desperate, Aria. He is a mess. I'm not saying I forgive him or that I even feel sorry for him, but I had never seen him like that. He practically begged me to make you talk to him. Of course I told him you're a big girl and I couldn't force you to do anything. He… told me there's an explanation for what he did. He told me he would tell you first, it's not right telling me without talking to you first…"

Aria had remained silent. She knew Spencer was probably going to tell her something about Ezra. If he had tried contacting her then he probably tried to talk to her friends too. What she wasn't expecting was to hear how devastated he was.

"I'm… not ready to talk about this right now. I have to go Spencer, I'll talk to you later, okay?"

Before Spencer had a chance to say something Aria hung up the phone, put on her shoes and got out of the apartment.

##########

Aria had never been the fitness kind. She had never found pleasure in doing physical activities and she actually thought people who did so had a slight mental disorder. How can you enjoy something that makes your body feel awful and desperate for rest?

So that's why she was surprised to feel relieved after running for almost half an hour. She hadn't thought about doing it, she hadn't planned it at all (she was wearing a freaking loafer for fuck's sakes), but she did it anyway and it felt good to have a blank mind and just focus on doing that: running.

She never thought how ironical it was to go for a running right after hearing about something she was escaping from.

When she got back to the apartment Helena was already there. She smiled when she saw Aria walk in looking a little breathless and with rosy cheeks. She seemed energetic, ready to take matters into her own hands. Something had definitely happened while she was at work.

"Hey, there you are! Were you run… wait. You're wearing loafers. No, you didn't! Who was it?!"

"Uh… what are you talking about?"

"You had sex! You actually had sex! Oh my God, it was Ezra, wasn't it? When did he-"

"Just wait a minute. What the HELL are you talking about?!"

"Well, you come in all breathless and stuff, you're looking alive for the first time in four days… I thought you went for a jog, but you're not wearing sneakers, so…"

Aria let out a genuine laugh. "You are unbelievable. Yes, I was, in fact, running. No sex."

"Are you insane? What the hell were you doing running in those shoes?!"

"I know, it was stupid, but it was a spur of the moment thing and I deeply regret it. My feet are probably covered in blisters and I'm pretty sure I'll never be able to wear heels ever again."

"Uh, ok… so why did you go running in the first place? I thought physical activities were against your principles. And can I just say how glad you should be that this happened in New York? Can you imagine how many people back in your hometown would stare at you if they saw you running in these?"

Aria smiled and nodded. "Yes, that's what I thought, I never expected to be an advocate for any kind of exercise, much less running. But I changed my mind. It actually helped. I managed to spend 30 minutes without thinking about anything other than just running. It was like my problems had disappeared, I completely forgot about everything. So, with that being said, I'm going shoe shopping tomorrow morning. At Foot Locker."

It was Helena's time to laugh out loud. "Oh my God, I wish I could be there to witness it. Please take a photo."

"I will", Aria said with a smile.

##########

A whole week had gone by and with each day Aria had increased her "training". Everyday she would go a little bit farther, a little bit faster. By the time Saturday came around, Aria decided to go to Rosewood. Not for good, not to see or speak to Ezra, but to pay a visit to her loyal friends, who had been so patient during this tough week. Aria told Helena she would be spending the weekend there and told her she would also take the opportunity to pick some of her stuff from her parents' house and do some explaining to them as well.

After turning on her phone on Tuesday, to speak to Spencer, Aria decided to block Ezra's number. He had sent numerous texts and called many times while her phone was off, so she decided the best way to deal with it at that moment was to make sure he couldn't reach her in any way, not until she felt ready. And it had felt good to not worry about what he might say during a voice mail or a text. She wasn't even ready for a "please call me back" text, much less a desperate voice mail telling her how sorry he was.

So there she went, finally picking up her car from the garage she had left it in (which reminded her, thanks to the scary bill she got, to leave it in Rosewood and go back to New York on the train) and driving back home.

She arrived at Spencer's house and walked in the barn. All of her friends were there and she couldn't help the big smile that was plastered on her face the moment she saw them.

"I missed you guys so much", Aria said after a lot of hugging and crying. They had finally settled on the sofa, each with a glass of wine, and were now catching up. "I'm so sorry for how I handled everything. It wasn't fair to you guys."

"Aria, don't worry. Like we told you, we understand. No hard feelings", Hanna said.

"We're just happy you are feeling a little better and that you are here", Emily said.

Aria smiled. "Thank you. I'm happy to be here with you guys."

"So, what are your plans?" Hanna asked.

"Well, I'm not gonna speak to Ezra. Not yet. I just came here to see you guys and pick up a few things. Besides, my parents are oblivious to everything that's going on, they think I was out of town because of work. So I need to tell them something, even if it's just that Ezra and I are taking some time apart. I really don't want to get into it too much with them, but I can't lie and say everything's fine, especially if they run into him at The Brew or something."

"You're right, you should do that", Spencer said.

Aria sighed. "Yes, I know. And about Ezra… I really don't know what to say to him or even if I'll ever be able to hear everything he has to say to me. I can't think about it right now, so I'm just going to give it some time and, hopefully, I'll be able to sit down and get some closure."

"Wait, so you're really done with him?" Emily asked.

"I don't know Em", Aria said, feeling all the confusion and turmoil of the last week come back to her head. "What I know is that I can't think about what's going to happen right now. I need to take one day at a time and take care of myself. I need to be a little more emotionally strong to have that conversation with him. And, right now, I'm a wreck, so, even if I wanted to, I can't talk to him right now. It's not a good idea."

"I agree. I'm glad things are a bit clearer for you now", Spencer said.

"Yes, I think they are. I think I'm coming to grips with what's happened and what it all means. I think I'll be able to handle whatever comes my way when I finally talk to him, if things keep going the way they are now", Aria said. "Besides, a relationship is between two people. I can't end it without telling him it's over. So…"

"That's not true", Spencer said. "You have every right to end it without letting him know. You can do this however you want to, Aria."

"Spencer's right. Just change your Facebook status and let him figure out the rest", Hanna said.

"As much as I would like it to be that simple, I can't. I'm a grown up, I have to at least pretend I owe him that. Besides, I deleted my Facebook last week."

The girls laughed and spent the rest of the evening talking about everything but Aria's maybe-fiancé.

##########

It was now Sunday night and Aria was hugging her parents, saying good-bye and telling them she would call them once she got to New York. She felt a lot better after telling them about what had happened. Although her words were limited to "we need some space from each other right now", her parents understood she wasn't ready to talk about it and didn't ask further questions.

Spencer had given her a ride to the train station in Philadelphia and Aria also promised her to send her a text once she got to New York. They said their good-byes and Aria climbed up the stairs to make her way back to the city that was currently serving as her therapist. She found her seat and dropped off her bags on the ground, sighing. She leaned her head on the headrest and closed her eyes for a few seconds. Sometimes she couldn't believe what her life had turned into. She would never have thought this would all be going on. It had been a month since Ezra had proposed and she thought that, by now, they would be happily enjoying their honeymoon in Europe, after eloping. That thought brought a new wave of sadness to her face. She blinked a few times, fighting against the dreaded tears. She missed him. She missed being with him, hearing his voice, lying on his chest, talking to him, seeing his smile, kissing him… she felt her body ache, a physical pain, take over her. It was like she was grieving a part of her life. A part that was probably really over, with no turning back.

She let out a breath. She wasn't a crier and she wasn't going to cry inside a train. She was going to hold it in and make it to New York. She was, hopefully, going to take a nap and wake up feeling a bit better. She looked outside the window feeling a little bit hopeful. Maybe she would make it through this a lot better than she had thought. And then she saw him: Ezra was boarding the same train than her.

Aria panicked for a moment, before realizing he was in another car. She left out a loud breath. But then she wondered: why is he going to New York? She knew the girls didn't tell him about her whereabouts. She knew Helena definitely hadn't either. And then it struck her. She didn't ask her parents to keep her location a secret. She hadn't actually told them she didn't want him to find her. Maybe, somehow, Ezra got a hold of them after she talked to them. From the way she had told them, they definitely didn't think everything was as bad as it actually was. Maybe they thought it would do them good to talk. Hell, maybe, to them, they were on speaking terms and Ezra simply wanted to visit her to make amends.

She quickly thought about how she could escape him once they got to New York. She had given her parents and friends the address to Helena's apartment, in case they wanted to visit, like they had told her. She hadn't seen a problem with that at the time. She never thought Ezra would go to her parents by now. She knew he hadn't before, because her parents had told her they hadn't seen him or talked to him after he got home. So she thought he was probably embarrassed and didn't want to humiliate himself even further by asking her parents for help. But, apparently, he decided to do so today of all days, right after she left. And that was pretty obvious; he wasn't carrying any baggage. He probably went to the station right after talking to Byron and Ella.

Aria thought about it for a moment and decided it was okay. She would simply go to a hotel and stay there for a while, before returning to Helena's apartment. Or maybe even going somewhere else. She had friends she could stay with in Boston. And then she thought: _what the hell am I thinking? Am I actually running away from a guy I used to call my fiancé a week ago? Running away like a fugitive, a criminal. God, this is ridiculous. I can't do this._

She decided it was time to stop running. She had trained enough. She didn't feel ready, but she wasn't the same as she was a week ago. She had done a lot of thinking, her anger had dissipated a little, she would be able to have a decent conversation with him, without lashing out and sounding like a drama queen. She could do this. She wouldn't live like that because of someone who had hurt her so easily and carelessly.

She was going to face Ezra.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hello! I just wanted to say that I feel like this has become a little too dramatic. I mean… I re-watched the last season and I think I've took it a bit far… therefore, I will tone it down now. And when I say "now" I mean the next chapter. Hee hee. Gotta save the drama for other upcoming situations *smirk emoji* And, as always, I'm very grateful for the reviews! And to the guest that made the suggestion about Ezra's true reason for being in NY... that was brilliant! Too bad I didn't think of that sooner. And that's why I could never be a true writer, even if I wanted to XD

CHAPTER 3

As Aria had feared, Ezra spotted her just a little after she stepped off the train. She would have preferred if he had given her a bit more time, at least enough for her to get to Helena's, but she knew, especially after the past couple of weeks, that life usually doesn't go as planned.

"Aria." He was stunned. He had hoped to see her that night, but he never would have thought she would be there, on the same train as he was, staring at him, not running away. He expected to get slapped as soon as she saw him, or a door on his face, anything. He wasn't expecting her to come up to him and look him in the eye.

"Ezra."

He was too dumbfounded to say or do anything. He couldn't even think about how much of a fool he probably looked like. He just stared at her and tried to find the words he had so desperately tried to find for the last week. He thought he would have come up with them on the train ride. When he got to New York he thought he would do so on the way to her friend's apartment. They never came to him.

"We should go somewhere. Not Helena's place though, she's probably already asleep."

"O-okay. Maybe a bar or…?"

"No." Aria didn't want to have a possible break up conversation on the same kind of place they had started their story. It wouldn't make things any easier. "There's this park a few blocks from here, we can go there." Good. She had come up with the best possible place. Public, but not crowded. Secluded enough to talk – and maybe yell – and easy to escape if needed.

Ezra nodded and followed her. He offered to carry her bags, especially because he didn't have any, but she declined. The weight of the bags helped her keep focused on something else. She wouldn't know what to do with her hands while walking beside him. It wasn't her intention to hurt him by saying "no, thanks", but she couldn't find it in herself to care about how he would have feel about it either.

They reached the park and found a bench overlooking the busy streets. It was past 10pm, so there wasn't much traffic and, therefore, not much noise. After fiddling with her hands for a while, staring at the ground and waiting for Ezra to say something, she decided to speak first.

"When you proposed, you remembered what I had told you years ago, how I couldn't imagine my life without you in it. And then you told me that the moment you saw me, after all those years, felt like you could finally breathe again, after what it felt like a rollercoaster. At that moment, with all the candles, the butterflies in my stomach and all that, I thought you were talking about the time we spent apart. That you seeing me again felt right and that it was the first time you felt like things were how they were supposed to be since we went our separate ways. Now I know that's not true. What you meant was that it was the first time you felt happy after Nicole disappeared. And you know, I had always had that tiny part of me, a part I tried so hard to ignore, that kept telling me that if the circumstances were different, then things wouldn't have ended up this way. That if Nicole hadn't disappeared and we would had, somehow, found each other again, you and I would never be a couple again. I mean, you and Nicole had been together for some time, you were both madly in love with each other, so much so that you wrote her an entire novel. And I know this sounds childish", Aria said letting out a sarcastic laugh, hating herself for what she was about to say. "But I can't help but think how you wrote her that beautiful love story, that whole novel about true love, like the cover says, while for me, someone you had been with for years, you only managed to find the inspiration to write a poem." Aria let out another cynical laugh. "A poem that was about how we met, not how it felt to be with me, to have me. And so, I can't help but think you would still be with her, married to her, if things had gone differently. I actually have the feeling you were close to asking her to marry you before it all happened, am I right?" Ezra gulped and looked down at the ground. Aria knew she was right. She nodded and picked up her bags. "I'm sorry, before she came back I thought I was capable of living with the suspicion of being a consolation prize, the second choice. But now that she's back, now that I KNOW I wasn't what you really wanted, I can't. I truly wish you both happiness."

"Aria, stop! Please, stop! None of that is true, please let me expl-"

Aria rushed through the park, the tears stubbornly spilling from her eyes, sobs caught in her throat. She ran, she ran to the street, she continued running until she found an open bar and stepped inside it. She quickly made her way to the bathroom and locked herself inside a stall. She knew he would come after her and she didn't want to be caught. She had to hide. But in reality, she had finally exposed what she truly believed all this time. She finally let it out loud and told not only Ezra, but herself, what she was convinced was the truth. She felt absolutely heart broken.

She thought she was ready to have that conversation with him, that she would be able to handle things, to listen to what he had to say, to be patient and mature. But her emotions got the best of her, once again. She, once again, cursed herself for the situation she put herself in. She thought about how pathetic it was to be standing in a bathroom stall inside a shady bar, crying over her former fiancé. She spent a good 40 minutes there, trying to regain control and make her way to Helena's.

And then she made her way outside. Thankfully, she got into a cab as soon as she stepped outside. She got to Helena's apartment and was even more grateful for the fact that her friend wasn't around, probably asleep in her room. Aria was incapable of talking to anyone. She just needed to sleep and forget tonight ever happened.

She couldn't remember a time she felt more destroyed and broken, not even when she found out about Ezra's lies and the book he was writing about Alison. Yes, she was completely shattered and she knew she would always carry that with her, even if she found happiness with someone else eventually. But at least she was sure. She was honest with herself. And that had set her free, somehow.

Aria woke up the next day to the sound of voices. She slowly opened her eyes. It didn't take long for her to identify said voices. It was Helena… and Ezra.

They were standing in the hallway outside the apartment, talking in what seemed like tense voices, whispers. Aria walked towards the door and opened it. They stopped talking and Helena gave her a small smile. She was dressed for work and had the bag hanging from her shoulder.

"Hey. Glad to see you back. I have to get to work. Call me if you need anything, alright?" Helena waited for Aria to nod and then walked towards the staircase.

Ezra didn't waste any time.

"Aria, I need to speak to you. Please, let me in and listen to me."

Aria was taken aback by his sudden confidence. It didn't seem like he was the same person from the previous night. She stepped aside and opened the door to let him in.

"I know it is a lot to ask, but please listen to me. Wait until I'm finished. I need you to be patient. Please." His eyes were pleading and Aria simply nodded. She didn't have a choice anyway. It was time.

They sat down across from each other and, unlike the previous night, they were both staring at each other.

"I was at the airport when I called you to tell you I was going home. My flight was scheduled to leave in the next few hours. And then I got a call, from the FBI. And they asked me to go with them, they told me they had found her. I couldn't believe it at first, I had already been through that and, in the end, she wasn't there. So I went with them, believing it would be another miss. I wasn't worried about letting you know, I was sure I would make it back in time to catch my flight, their QG wasn't far from the airport anyway." Ezra stared at Aria, looking for some sign. He didn't know whether he should wait for her to say something or if he should just go on. After a few seconds he realized she wasn't going to say anything. She was being patient. She was listening.

"So I got there and they told me they were on their way to this camp. I was still incredulous, it was starting to feel like it could be real, that she could be alive, but I wasn't thinking straight, I just wanted to get it over with, to finally close that door and leave. So they asked me to come with them and I said yes. At that time I knew I wouldn't get on that plane. And I knew I had to let you know. I took my phone and typed a message to you, telling you that it seemed like they had really found her and that I wouldn't be going home then. I sent it and went with the FBI. They were in a hurry, we all rushed to the cars and made our way there."

"I never got any message", Aria said, looking disbelieved.

Ezra took a deep breath, he knew there was a big chance Aria wouldn't believe him. He knew he had screwed up many times during that time after he talked to her on the airport. And he would never be able to forgive himself for what he had made her go through. But she needed to hear him out and he needed to tell her the truth.

"I know, just bear with me. I have to be honest with you. After I got in that car, everything else just didn't matter anymore. I couldn't think of anything else other than what was currently going on. I had to get there, I had to see for myself if Nicole was alive. And then she was, and I saw her and I held her and I thanked God that she was alive and well. The moment changed everything. I never expected to see her again and I was in shock. I… I don't know, I just… I wanted to be there for her, and help her, and let her know how sorry I was and… they took her to a hotel and I got a room there too. She didn't want to be away from me. She was so relieved but also so vulnerable… I couldn't say no to her. So I stayed by her side all along. I let her sleep next to me. Aria, nothing happened. But I couldn't just blurt it out and tell her I was back with you, you of all people. I guess she thought I was being respectful or something, but she didn't question me when I didn't kiss her. I don't know exactly what she went through those past three years, but I think she didn't want any kind of intimacy either and I-"

"Okay, stop. First of all, you weren't "back with" me. We were engaged. Engaged to me, Ezra. So yeah, I get it why you couldn't tell her that, but don't insult me by omitting this tiny little bit of information of your little speech."

Aria was fuming. Not only did she had to listen to her former fiancé talk about how he slept next to his ex girlfriend, but she also felt like he was demeaning their relationship by not saying they were engaged. It hurt, and she couldn't help herself, she had to let him know that.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I know we are engaged, I know that, I didn't mean it like that, I was-"

"And second, I don't wanna hear about how you slept on the same bed as her or how you held her while your fiancée was at your place, waiting for you, desperate to see you, missing you, not knowing what was going on, and then having to find out he had found his true love again and couldn't even bother to text me or let me-"

"Aria, don't. It's not like that and you know it."

"I KNOW IT? What exactly is that I know, Ezra? Tell me, because I really can't figure it out. What was I to you while you were holding Nicole on that video? Or when you two were cuddling? Tell me, who does that and expects their significant other to understand it, be okay with it and not think about how everything they had before was a simple distraction, something to occupy your mind and bed since you couldn't have what you really wanted. How do you expect me to be okay with any of this?!"

Aria was now in tears, trying her best not to yell the last words. Ezra had glassy eyes and a few escaped tears, but Aria didn't care. Yes, she knew he cared for her someway, somehow. But it wasn't enough. It wasn't more than he cared for Nicole and it wasn't enough to sustain an engagement, much less a marriage.

"Aria. I love you. I was caught up in the moment and yes, I was an asshole, a piece of shit, to have done this to you. Yes, I could have sent you a text or called you. If I did, then I would have seen that the text I sent you wasn't delivered. I would have known that you didn't know where I was and what was going on. But I felt so guilty about what happened to Nicole. I felt like I owed it to her, to be completely there for her when she needed me, unlike those past few years. I'm sorry, you should have been my number one priority. You are. I just didn't see it at that moment."

"Yes, I should have. But I wasn't and that speaks for itself, doesn't it?"

Ezra looked at her with a sad and confused expression. He didn't know what exactly she was thinking, what she wanted. He was sure she was still angry, of course, but he had no clue what she was about to say next.

"I will never, NEVER forgive myself for what I have done. But if you let me, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. You are everything to me, Aria. I really can't imagine my life without you. You have no idea how much I missed you and how much I wanted to have told you what I wanted to, at the airport, before I left. I was gonna tell you that whatever happened in Colombia could never change the way I feel about you and how much I want you to be my wife. Nothing. I feel obligated to support Nicole in whatever way I can, I spent so much time wishing it had been me who had gotten abducted. I always blamed myself. So I can't not be there for her now. You have to understand me, this has nothing to do with how I feel about you. I love you. You were never second best or a consolation prize. Never."

Aria was sobbing and hugging her knees to her chest, unable to forgive him at that time and with an unbearable need to touch Ezra, to kiss him, to be comforted by him. She missed him terribly and being near him did not help. She let go of her pride and went to him, throwing herself in his arms, sitting on his lap and burying her face in his chest. Ezra started crying harder and held her for dear life, crushing her to him. He had never felt happier than at that moment. To be finally able to hold her, feel her, smell her. He had thought he would go insane if he didn't get to do all that at least one more time. It finally felt like he was breathing again, once more.

After some more crying while holding each other, Aria and Ezra wiped the tears and sat next to each other, facing their loved one with a new sense of determination and understanding.

"How did you know I was in New York?" Aria already knew he had probably talked to her parents, but she wanted to make sure anyway.

"I went to your parents… I was relieved to find they didn't know everything about what happened. I knew your father would beat me up if he did. But anyways, they told me you were staying here, at Helena's, so they gave me the address. I came here straight from their house. I tried asking Spencer, but she wouldn't bulge. Swore she didn't know."

Aria smiled. "At first she really didn't know. But then I realized I was being dramatic and told them this weekend, when I visited. I had told my parents too, so I thought you went to see-"

"Wait. You were in Rosewood this weekend?!"

Aria smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, I took the same train as you. I saw you get in it. We were in different cars."

Ezra had a shocked expression on his face. "When I saw you at the train station I didn't even think about what you were doing there, I was too stunned, So you were there, in Rosewood, the past two days and I had no idea…"

"I'm sorry… but I wasn't ready to see or talk to you. I thought it would be better to have this conversation after I had some more time to think about this and…"

"It's okay, I understand. How could I not? I was such a moron, Aria, and I can't even tell you how stupid and disgusted with myself I felt all this time. If I had just thought a little bit more at the time and-"

"What happened after you slept with Nicole? Why didn't you call me the day after?"

Ezra recognized the sting in her voice when she mentioned him sleeping "with" Nicole. He couldn't say anything though, she had every right to feel the way she was feeling.

"I turned on my phone and saw all the calls and messages. I quickly realized my message wasn't delivered. I figured it had something to do with bad service or something, I don't know. When I saw that you didn't know what had happened to me I knew you would be furious. And then I saw the news, the video of me and Nicole hugging. I knew you would be upset and that I would have to do some explaining and all, but I didn't know how upset you would be. I thought it was better to wait and talk to you when I got home. So I booked the first flight home."

"Oh, and what's the excuse this time? You missed your flight and every phone in the country lost signal?"

Ezra sighed. He thought she was getting calmer and more understanding. Apparently, he was wrong. "No. I got in the plane. With Nicole. And we came here, to New York."

Aria couldn't believe her ears. _He was here this whole time. With her._ "Well, that's rich. You had been a hundred miles away from me for like a couple of days and you didn't even let me know. Oh, not to mention, you were with _her._ "

"Aria…" Ezra had said her name in a somewhat stern voice, like a teacher reprehending a student. Aria couldn't believe his attitude. Was he really getting pissed at her?

"Don't you dare speak to me like that, Ezra. You're the one who screwed up here, not me!"

"I know, I'm sorry, but please, let me fi-"

"I don't think it's necessary, Ezra."

Ezra's reaction took Aria by surprise.

"YES, IT IS, JUST LISTEN. NICOLE WOULDN'T LET ME LEAVE. I WAS TOO FUCKING WEAK TO LEAVE HER LIKE THAT, I FELT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO HER, HOW COULD I INFLICT EVEN MORE SUFFERING TO HER?"

Aria was stunned. She had never heard him curse like that before, much less scream at her.

He scratched the back of his neck and paced around the living room, but then he continued, taking advantage of the fact Aria was too dumbfounded to speak. "I wasn't sure not talking to you was a good idea, but I thought it would be best if I came straight to you and explain everything, okay? At first I thought it would be a day, that I would get home sooner. But then Nicole begged me to stay with her in New York. Her parents tried reasoning with her, since they knew about us, but it took her a couple more days to finally let me go. I would never have thought I would get home and see your engagement ring on the kitchen counter, Aria. Or that note. Do you have any idea of how much I hate myself for putting you through that? I felt like I was doing the same thing with you that I did to Nicole. I hurt the both of you and it's all my fault. I was just trying to make it right and I'm so sorry I made all this mess. I don't know how I'll manage to fix it, but I won't give up, Aria, and I won't let you give up on me. I know I have no right to ask for one more chance, I know I don't deserve you and I never will, but I'll do anything I can to make it up to you, to make you the happiest you can be. And I want to do that my whole life. Please. Please forgive me."

Aria fell on the floor, covering her face with her hands and bringing her knees to her chest, sobbing. She loved that man so much, she had loved him for so long, why did it have to be this difficult? Every time things started going fine something came up and brought them back to square one. It was like the universe was always testing their love, always trying to find a way to separate them.

But then she realized: they had never given up. They had gone through so much, not since day one, but day two, nonetheless. And everything had always felt so right and so good, but then something would come up, most of the times something from the outside, or someone from the outside. How come, after seven years, they were still together? And after five years apart they had still found each other again.

Ezra got down to his knees and carefully touched Aria's shoulder. "I won't blame you if you decide to leave. But please don't. I can't imagine what I would do without you. I can't handle not having you with me. I thought I would go insane these past couple of weeks. After I got to the loft I felt so lost and hopeless. Please, Aria, I love you, I always will."

Aria looked up at his eyes, so many tears running down his cheeks… she grabbed his face with both hands and gave him a soft kiss. "We'll get through this."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: And we're back! This chapter has a bit of smut in it, you'll know it when it comes, so just skip it if you wish to.

CHAPTER 4

After the tense and energy draining conversation, Aria and Ezra decided they needed some rest. There were still a lot of things they needed to discuss and figure out, but that could wait. Right now they were tired. And they longed to be close to each other, touch each other. It had been too long, they owed this moment of oblivion and comfort to themselves.

Since Helena's apartment was too small and didn't have enough space for a third person, they went to Ezra's hotel room, which was, of course, close enough so that they could reach it within a five minute walk. They crashed on the queen sized bed and immediately fell into that familiar position: Aria rested her head on Ezra's chest, while he had an arm around her. Sleep soon followed and they finally felt, for the first time in weeks, that everything was where they belonged.

Aria woke up with the sound of her phone ringing. She noticed Ezra stirring up and picked up the phone, answering without checking the caller's ID.

"Hello?"

"Aria? Finally! What happened, where were you? I tried calling you, Helena… I was about to call Ezra, but I was afraid it wouldn't be a good idea, since I don't know if you guys had talked yet or if you were having make up sex, so I-"

"Hanna, calm down. First of all, how did you know Ezra was coming to New York?"

"Oh, I ran into your mom at The Brew and she told me he was going to New York to try and talk to you. So, did he?"

"Yes, he did." Aria looked at Ezra, who was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with a confused expression on his face. Aria thought it was the cutest sight she'd seen in a long time and smiled at him. "We talked… we are, you know, talking. We were just too tired and took a nap, I'm sorry I didn't answer your calls, I was blacked out I guess."

"Oooohhhh, so there was make up sex! Tell me all about it."

"Hanna… "

"Oh, he's there, isn't he? Sorry, I'll let you get back to it, talk to you tomorrow!"

Hanna hung up and Aria let out a sigh. "That was Hanna."

Ezra raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, I figured. I heard something about make up sex?"

"Uh, yeah. She's crazy. So, I'm starving. Do you want to go out and get something to eat?" Aria said, avoiding the subject.

"Yes, I'm famished. Let's go to that pizza place we walked by on our way here, it looks nice."

"Great, let's go."

After having a nice dinner, filled with nothing but pleasant conversation, they decided to head to Helena's and pick up Aria's stuff. They had talked about going back to Rosewood the next day and decided to spend their last evening in the Big Apple in the hotel, for obvious reasons. Aria could have decided to sleep at Helena's while Ezra stayed at the hotel, but she really didn't feel like being away from him, even though there was a significant part of her that was still angry and searching for answers and reassuring.

Helena greeted them and wished them well on their ride home the next day. Aria promised to keep in touch more often and Helena promised to come visit them in Rosewood. They arrived back at the hotel a little after 10pm, and, because of their long nap that afternoon, they realized they weren't tired and so they watched a movie on TV. Unfortunately, it wasn't a black and white one, but neither cared. They were cuddling on the bed and that was all they needed at that moment.

"Hey, I need to talk to you about something."

Aria wasn't in the mood to have another serious conversation, but agreed to anyway. "What's up?"

"Well, I know that we are back together, but what exactly are we? Are we still engaged?" It was apparent that Ezra was afraid to ask that question and rightfully so. The matter was that Aria didn't know how to answer it. She had thought about it after they made up. She still loved him and wanted to marry him, of course, but with everything that had happened she didn't know if that was the best idea, not at that moment anyway. Besides, after they got back together, they had quickly gotten engaged and then were about to marry before Nicole showed up. So it wasn't an easy decision for her to make, and she knew it was her call.

"Ezra, don't you think we rushed things a little too much after we got back together?"

Ezra looked surprised. "Well, considering we were together for four years before that and that we know each other so well, no, I don't think it was rushed."

"I know, but it was. Even if we were together all this time we are not the same people we were five years ago. We changed a lot. And now, with this new situation with Nicole, I don't – "

"I told you and I meant it. Nothing changed for me after she came back. My feelings for you are still the same and so is my intent on marrying you."

Aria let out a breath she didn't even realize she was holding. It felt good to hear those words again, to feel that reassurance. "I know, you've told me that already. But things have changed. We can't pretend these past couple of weeks didn't happen."

Ezra took Aria's hands in his and looked her straight in the eyes. "Aria, if you want to wait, if you want to go back to being boyfriend and girlfriend, whatever it is you want to do, I'll do it. Even if you decide to live somewhere else other than my place, even if you won't accept that ring for some time, I'll still accept it. As long as I'm with you, I won't make any demands. But I am ready. I've been ready for some time and I'm absolutely sure this is what I want. You are who I want. And I want you as my wife. So, if you decide to be engaged to me, I'll be the happiest man alive, even if I don't deserve it. But if you don't, I'll do whatever I can to change your mind someday, but I'll still respect your decision."

Aria felt like crying, but fought back the tears, thinking about how much she had cried lately. "I think we should call off the engagement."

As much as it hurt Aria to say that, nothing could compare to Ezra's expression. He looked absolutely heartbroken and Aria felt bad for being responsible for his misery. She knew she had the "right" to do so, that she wasn't being unreasonable, but it still hurt to see the man you love look so downcast.

"However, I still want to be with you, of course. I just don't think it's the right thing to do right now, go back to planning a wedding that was supposed to have happened weeks ago. It doesn't feel right, and I want my wedding to feel right."

"I understand. I'm not surprised you want to do that. But like I said, I'll do my best to change your mind."

Aria smiled. "I know. And I'm not saying I won't say no forever, I'm just saying we should work through things first, before we drown ourselves into seating charts and invitations."

Ezra laughed. "I can't wait to be drowned in all of that."

##########

Their conversation the previous night had done wonders to them. After so more light hearted talking and teasing, the couple slept through the night, after making plans to head back to Rosewood in the afternoon, taking the morning to do some sight seeing.

Ezra woke up first and found a way to stare at Aria's sleeping face while still holding her close. After a few minutes she finally opened her eyes and smiled at him.

"Good morning", she said.

Ezra's face lighted up. "Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, I did. What time is it?"

Ezra reached out to his phone on the nightstand. "Almost 7:30. Wow, didn't think it would still be that early."

"Yeah, me neither. Well, to be honest I can't wait to have that breakfast at the diner on 42nd, so I don't mind getting up early."

Ezra smiled and then looked apprehensive. He was being careful of Aria's feelings and always being careful to not say the wrong thing, but some things just had to be said. "Aria, will you be coming back to my place after we get to Rosewood?"

Aria bit her lip. That was another question she hadn't figured out the answer to, but after waking up next to him, having the expectation of having breakfast with him, starting their days together, she could finally say it. "I will. I want and I miss waking up with you. I really missed you, Ezra."

Ezra smiled and held her face between his hands. "I missed you so, so much." He kissed her lips with passion and longing, a kiss that wasn't like the others they had shared the past couple of days. Up until then they had always had chaste kisses, superficial acts of love that were too afraid to go too far. This time was different. This time they had made their feelings known to themselves and each other and they could now acknowledge the fact that they missed their intimacy.

Ezra rolled on top of Aria and pushed his legs between hers. The friction of their bodies was enough to make them both moan. That feeling that they were so used to but still caused them so much pleasure whenever it happened. Ezra moved his lips to Aria's neck, kissing her gently while she rubbed her hands down his back, while grinding her hips to his.

Things escalated quickly. It had been to long and they desired each other too much at that moment for foreplay. Ezra removed Aria's shorts while she began to push his boxers down. After removing her shirt, Ezra's lips latched onto one of her nipples, making Aria let out a loud moan, throwing her head back. He moved his attention to the other nipple, but she soon had had enough. She removed his shirt and took his erection in her hands, guiding him into her opening. She breathed out his name at the contact, while he buried his head on her shoulder, taking deep breaths. After not long of moving together, in sync and with hands roaming everywhere, kisses and lustful looks exchanged, they reached their peak and crashed side by side on the mattress, breathless, but still never letting the other go.

That diner's bagels didn't seem that interesting to Aria now.

##########

Aria was lost in her thoughts when she heard footsteps down the stairs. She hadn't slept much, her feelings keeping her awake for most of the night. She was curled up on the sofa, thinking about how much had changed in the last few weeks. Actually, few months. She had gone from living in Boston, in a healthy relationship with a guy who adored her, to being back in Rosewood, being caught up in all the A.D. drama, engaged to the love of her life (who was also the person who had hurt the most in her entire life) and now facing a delicate situation with said person.

Even though they had worked things out, they were still somewhat weird. Aria didn't know how exactly to proceed. She knew they had agreed on holding off the whole engagement thing for now and just take things slow, but it was kinda difficult doing that when you two had been engaged not so long ago. Also, what would they tell people? Others would know they had had a big fight, that ended in the postponement? Cancelation? Reevaluation? Of their engagement, and that in itself was hard to deal with. How would they answer the questions from others if themselves didn't know what was going on?

Ezra came up to her and kissed her forehead.

"Good morning. How long have you been up?" He asked.

"Morning. About an hour or two I think."

"Oh. Is everything alright? Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, I just woke up and couldn't get back to sleep, but I was rested enough."

"Good. Do you want some breakfast? I'll go down downstairs and pick something up."

"That sounds good.

Aria thought it was best if she kept the information about the reason she had been awake so early a secret.

##########

After breakfast, Aria decided to face the music and called the girls. They agreed to meet at Spencer's barn for lunch. Aria wasn't exactly looking forward. She knew her friends loved her, but they could be judgmental and inquisitive sometimes. But, unfortunately, she knew she couldn't keep hiding from them any longer.

##########

Ezra decided to stay home, unpack and put everything in order. He had also planned on going to the groceries and doing the laundry. He wanted to make sure Aria didn't have any reason to complain and so whatever mundane errand or chore he could do, he would.

After doing everything he had planned, Ezra sat down to watch a movie. It was getting late and Aria would probably come home soon. He was excited to see her, he had missed her, even if they had seen each other not long ago. Still, he wanted to see her reaction to what she would find once she got there. He could picture the smile on her face.

He heard the doorbell ring and smiled. She probably forgot her keys again. He picked up the flowers he had purchased for her earlier and headed to the door.

##########

"I can't say I'm surprised, but I can't say I'm not confused either… you two are back to living together and being together, but not engaged? After he proposed like a month ago and you said yes… that's a little awkward, isn't it?" Hanna said.

Aria sighed. "Yes, it is. Trust me, awkward doesn't even begin to describe it. It's like we are both walking on eggshells most of the time, and it hasn't even been 24 hours since we got back. And we are not 'living together'. I slept at his place last night, that was it. I'll probably sleep there tonight too, since I didn't tell my parents what is going on, but I'll do it tomorrow. Ugh. And everyone else… first seeing an engagement ring on my finger, and then there isn't one, but I'm still with Ezra… and if I ever get to wear it again, they'll probably come up to me and say 'oh, you're engaged again. To whom?'"

"Well but it is what it is, right? I mean… if you went back to being engaged it would feel even more uncomfortable, would it not? You just went through some heavy crap, you can't just go back to where you were and pretend everything's fine. You're doing the right thing, Ar. And you can always stay here with me, you don't have to tell your parents until you're ready. And fuck whatever everyone else thinks."

"Thanks Spence, I appreciate that", Aria said with a smile.

"Well, we are all here to support you, in whatever you decide", Emily said.

"Yeah, and if you ever want some distraction we can always go to Philly and do something Ezra would hate, like going to a male strip club or something. He would be so mad, and we would be so happy and he wouldn't do anything about it, cause he deserves it. A little."

They all laughed at Hanna's joke (or maybe it wasn't a joke) and agreed to catch up more often, to make sure Aria wouldn't spend all her energy thinking about Ezra's and her situation.

##########

"What are you doing here? How did you get here?" Ezra didn't have the intention to sound rude, but he knew that's how he came across. He was still blocking the door with his body and he peeked around her to see if anyone else was there. He was relieved to find out Aria hadn't arrived. Yet.

"I-I'm sorry, Ezra. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to call you, but my parents wouldn't let me. They said they could delivered whatever message I had for you, but I wanted to see you and talk to you in person."

"You shouldn't have come here. Do your parents know, Nicole?"

"No, they don't. Please, just let me come in, don't call them."

Ezra scratched the back of his neck. "You know this isn't a good idea, right? They'll be pissed and we all agreed you should stay at the rehab clinic until the doctors gave you the ok. And besides, I told you I wouldn't be able to see you for a while and that you should have waited for me to come to you."

"There's someone else, isn't there?" Nicole asked, with tears about to spill out of her eyes.

Ezra sighed. "Come in."

##########

After spending the afternoon with her friends and talking about anything other than Ezra, Aria was actually excited to see him. She had missed him, like usual, but she also had a newfound sense of determination and perseverance, which turned her thoughts to making her relationship not only work, but thrive.

As she walked up the stairs to the loft she couldn't help but smile. Thinking about how she would open the door and see Ezra, kiss him, order some take out and cuddle on the sofa while watching a movie was the best thing she could think of at that moment and she wouldn't change it for anything.

Suffice to say, seeing Nicole and Ezra sitting on the sofa, talking, wasn't what she expected at all when she opened the front door.

"But you have to understand, I suffered so much, I… Aria? Uh, hi." Ezra couldn't think of a worst timing for his girlfriend to return. He got up and alternated looking at Aria and Nicole. He walked up to the former and kissed her on the cheek.

"Hello. Did I interrupt something?" Aria knew she did, but she couldn't help but feign oblivion. She knew she had just walked into a drama filled situation.

"No, of course not. Nicole came over and we were just talking. I wasn't expecting her, otherwise I would have told you."

"Yes, I'm sorry for barging in, Aria, but I wanted to talk to Ezra and I thought it would be better if I did it in person. Besides, I didn't know you two were… together."

Aria decided to ignore the sting in Nicole's last sentence. "Oh, that's ok, I was just surprised. I'll, uh… go upstairs and let you two talk." With a small smile, Aria made her way to the staircase.

Ezra looked at Nicole with an apologetic look. "Sorry, I'll be right back."

Nicole nodded and smiled, but Ezra had already gone after Aria.

When he got to the bedroom, he noticed Aria was about to go into the shower, but she stopped and looked at him with an inquisitive look.

"Did Nicole already leave?" She was, again, faking oblivion. Ezra knew that didn't sound good.

"No… I just wanted to see if you're okay."

"I'm okay. I'm not happy, but I'm okay."

"I'm sorry, I really am. If I had known she was coming I would have stopped her. But this won't take long, I'll try to get her out as soon as possible."

Aria sighed. "This wasn't what I was expecting for our night, but you can't just get rid of her. Go, talk to her, and let me know when she's gone so that I can order some food, I'm getting hungry."

Ezra smiled. "You are amazing. I love you." He hugged her and kissed her head.

"I love you too."

##########

Aria looked at her phone and saw how late it was. 9pm. It had been two hours since she got home and Ezra still hadn't come up. Nicole was still downstairs and, from the volume of their voices, things had gotten a little rough. She was starving and she wanted to be able to walk around the house freely, without an ex girlfriend who caused so much drama between her and her then fiancé, shouting and crying.

Downstairs, Ezra was desperately trying to convince Nicole to leave. He had had enough and he was afraid of going bald after running his hand through his hair so many times.

"Nicole, please. I can't do this anymore. I've told you everything there was to say. You've told me everything you could've told me. I'm sorry, I know this is a lot and it's difficult to come to grips with this new reality you were thrown into, but I can't do anything to change this. I told you, I'll be there for you in any way that I can, but we are no longer a couple, I'm not in love with you anymore, but I still care about you, I want you to be okay."

"You want me to be okay?! You care about me?! Yeah, right, trying to make me leave and answer my questions by myself so you can go back to your girlfriend, the woman you were in love with during our relationship, the one that got away, the one that always made me feel insecure. That's some real consideration, Ezra. I understand you could have moved on, but with her? That's really low."

"How could I have chosen who I ended up with? Aria showed up after all this time, I couldn't help but-"

"Yes, you could! If you ever had any real love for me, you could've stayed away from her!"

"Okay, let's move on. You said you still have questions. So ask me, I'll answer them."

"You know what, I'm just gonna go. I can't handle this right now, you're too fucking full of yourself and you don't give a fuck about me! You have no idea what I went through, the nightmare I've lived in for the past THREE YEARS Ezra, THREE years! The one thing that kept me going the most, the thing I looked forward to the most was being with you again. And now it's over. I was in that hell and… And it's all your fault and you know it!"

Nicole burst out of the loft slamming the door. Aria had started making her way down the stairs when she heard Nicole's last shouts and had made it to the living room by the time the angry girl left. She looked at Ezra and felt bad for him.

"Hey, she's just angry, she knows it's not your fault."

Ezra gave her an insincere smile. "I know. But she's gone now, let's just forget about it. So, what did you want to eat?"

Aria felt odd. Something had happened. Now the awkwardness wasn't about what Ezra had done or hadn't done to her. Now it was because of something he had done to Nicole. And Aria didn't know how that would unfold between them.


End file.
